An Assignment

Equanimity was assigned to go with a news piece in my Creative Writing I course. I originally wrote this piece to be a response to a poem written by Rilke. It was good as a response, but it seemed interesting to rework it to make it stand alone. I did that by focusing more on the message of the poem free of Rilke’s ideas. The rhythm changed somewhat, but I felt it was effective. Here’s the original poem before revision:pinkpetalsfloat

Equanimity

Infinite Longings signal discontent

A malady of lost soulfulness

To recapture this pearl of Selfhood

Look within, not without

Trembling semblances of happiness

Too show grandness out of balance

Be like still waters the mystics say

I say contentment blesses

Silence is golden they say

Dancing tears Rilke speaks

I say that tears are like dewdrops

Clustered on the eyelashes of the soul.

Here’s my revision:

Equanimity

Infinite longings signal discontent

A malady of lost soulfulness

To recapture this pearl of Selfhood

Look within, not without

Trembling semblances of happiness

Too show grandness out of balance

Be like still waters the mystics say

I say contentment blesses

And trembles not.

Silence is golden they say

I say that tears are like dewdrops

Clustered on the eyelashes of the soul.

The balance and the crispness

These are the things happiness truly notes.

© 2011